The Cycle of Domestic Violence

The cycle of domestic violence usually happen multiple times in a relationship. There are three important cycles to be aware of in an abusive relationship. Each cycle can vary in time and severity.

One thing I have learned, if a person hit you once they will hit you again.-Domestic Cycle of Abuse.


1. Tension Building-This is the first phase of the abuse cycle and this is where the abuse start. The abuser start to become mean and angry. The communication between the victim and the abuser start to deteriorate. In this phase the victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm. More often than not it does not work.

2. Explosion- The abuse occurs in the explosion phase as this the peak of violence. The explosion is usually violent and intimidating. The abuse is physical, emotional, sexual and verbal. The abuse intensifies over time getting worse and worse each time.

3. Honeymoon Stage-The honeymoon phase is the final phase of the cycle. The abuser apologizes to the victim after the explosion. The abuser places all the blame on the victim. At this point, the abuser promises that the violence will never happen again. During this phase, the abuser can also deny it ever happened, never taking ownership or accountability. They often use their charisma and charm by giving gifts to the victim to pull them back in.

The cycle of abuse can go on for years. This is no way anyone should live their life. Sometimes the victim can end up dead in the explosion phase. The abuser will end up in jail never taking ownership of what they have done. Sometimes the relationship just end, and the abuser is off to his next victim.

Remember: If you are being abused: it’s not your fault, don’t be ashamed, help is always available. Always speak with a close friend, don’t suffer in silence.

The cycle of abuse is never ending. Please watch all the red flags. Never ignore them. We must do all we can to protect everyone from the cycle of domestic abuse. If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or visit their website to chat online 24/7.violence.

Images: Pinterest